The Great Chocolate Harvest

Kuddos to Julee! Very cute!

THE "TRUE" HALLOWEEN STORY©
By Julee Brynestad

A few years ago there was quite the discussion between those who did and those who did not "do" Halloween. I've pretty much just sat back and taken in all these [comments], not just now, but year after year, regarding Halloween, and have finally decided to speak up on the subject.

While I appreciate all of the input by various individuals, I'm concerned that we have all missed the boat on this one, both historically and practically. It is my belief that Halloween is the invention of PMS driven women, crazed for chocolate! (Which is a spooky sight, in and of itself!)

Somewhere, way back in the dark ages of PMS (before Midol and Prozac), there was a group of women friends who ran out of chocolate. During the evening when the lights were on, but the curtains were not yet drawn, they could see across the fence and into the neighbor's windows, that chocolate resided there. These desperate and crafty women plotted and planned a way to obtain the necessary chocolate, without resorting to unlawful activities. These women dressed their little darlings up for 2 reasons, 1) 'cause who would refuse those sweet chubby cheeks? And 2) 'cause they didn't want the neighbors to know exactly whose parent's those chubby cheeks belonged to. The darlings loved playing dress-up and mommy told them to 'go show the neighbors.' Let the reader understand, it was commonplace for the neighbors to 'ooohh' and 'aaahhh,' and quickly rush around the house, looking for a treat for their unexpected visitor. So those moms sent these innocent children, door to door, while they hid in the shadows, careful to keep an eye on the kids and take note of who gave out the best goodies and who refused.

Their little plot worked wonders and history was born! The wee ones came home loaded down with goodies. Of course, being the 'good' parent, they sorted out the Snickers from the Sweet Tarts - keeping the chocolate for themselves and rewarding the kiddies with all the rest.

Soon enough, a problem arose, when their rations ran out. What to do, what to do? Then it hit them, spread the word! They realized the potential popularity of such an event, should other PMS chocolate deprived women find out. They began to organize, quickly and with haste, the obvious starting point - PTA! They knew that calling it "The Great PMS Chocolate Harvest" was probably not PC; yet they wanted to give proper honor and tribute to the day . . . thus All Hallow Eve was born.

Now, where?, you might ask, did the spooky part come in. Remember back to the mom's hiding in the shadows . . . well, that's where! Ever now and again, an innocent neighbor caught a glimpse of movement and noise in the shadows. Looking from the light into the darkness, they could not focus their eyes on what was 'out there,' leaving the uneasy residents to their
own imaginations. Was it that stray black cat? Was that a face [mom's silhouette] on those recently harvested pumpkins? Was it a witch riding her broomstick in the sky [mom sitting on a nearby tree limb-wind blowing]?

Of course, as with all tales, over the ages, they have been twisted, exaggerated, and blown all out of proportion. I think, if we just stick to the facts, we can easily make it through the day!