About that Socialization...

Reader warning:  Vent mode - on,  Frustration level - high.  If you do not home school and are easily offended you may want to move on to another page.  I have had it and feel like blogging about it!  I will now step onto my soap box....

Last week on the Loopers, we were discussing our most frustrating home school questions. Two particular topics came up:  1) Educational background 2) Socialization.  I'm fortunate to have an educational background so I'll probably blog on that at a later time.  The one that just gets to me is the socialization question.  "How will your kids get socialized?"  Well, first of all, I guess I'm a little offended by that question because it assumes that I must not be socialized and we have apparently dug ourselves into our home, barred the doors and windows and just happened to come out to check for our shadows just in time to be cornered and questioned on socialization! Yikes! Do I really act like that much of a goober? Reality says that we really have to guard our activities or we would be out doing things all the time rather than ever being home.  

Let's start with the definition of socialize.  It means to mix socially with others or to behave in a way that is acceptable to their society.  1) To mix socially - my children have plenty of time with both children and adults in a variety of settings, so I would say that they are learning how to mix socially with others. 2) To behave in a way that is acceptable to their society - this is the big one.  This is the question I asked myself:  Do I want my children to behave in a way that is acceptable to their peers (i.e. in a classroom full of kids their age - their 'society' during school) or in our home with loving parents and their own siblings as well as in places of our choosing with people whom we trust with our children (i.e. grandparents, church members, etc.)?  

Alright, but let's discuss that acceptable behavior.  Do my kids behave in a way that is acceptable to me or those whom I trust?  Um... No.  Not even close on many days at this point. So, apparently I have failed in the socialization department, right?  That's when we have to remember that all children are sinful and have personalities which result in behaviors that must be shaped.  Let's go back to that classroom.  Now we are assuming that my children will be better served primarily by one teacher each year who does not know or appreciate their sinful nature and personality flaws rather than their parents who gave birth to them, love them and truly want them to be successful in life.  We are the ones who know well all their short-comings and have complete vested interest in making sure they are guided to the positive behaviors.

I have never put down any person for sending their child to public school or private school.  For some reason deciding to home school means it's "open season" in the criticism department. Some day I hope to get the same respect that I give others in their schooling in my decision to school my children at home.

If you have any doubt that they won't learn other socially "normal" things, (such as girls going to the bathroom in groups) I can assure you that these things apparently occur quite naturally.  The house was quiet and Brian was looking for our three girls.  He finally found them....  yes, all three girls were in the bathroom.  Lady Bug was on the toilet with the other two gathered around her and they were all looking through a magazine!